Everything Feels Wrong, BUT...
Last month, my husband and I took my niece out for a birthday outing. On the way back, baby girl was exhausted from the fun and fell asleep. Whilst she was resting beautifully, little was she aware of how my husband and I were having to manoeuvre her pram around London transport. There was a point the lift was out of order, and we had to lift her up the steps. Did she awake once? Not at all.
As I watched her, a thought came to my head: this is exactly how God wants us to be. He wants us to trust Him enough to fully relax; to just rest in His arms while He carries us through life. God literally calls us to be like children (Matthew 18:3). But what does that actually look like when it comes to trust? Part of my job is doing home visits with families, and honestly, I see it all the time. I’ll walk in and the child I’ve come to see looks at me like, “Who’s this stranger?” then bolts straight into their parent’s arms and buries their face in their chest. You can always tell when a child feels safe! Even in their fear, they trust their parent’s presence. And that, I think, is exactly how God wants us to lean into Him.
So my first question is this: when we’re scared, anxious, or sad: what do we do? Lately, my soul has felt empty. I can’t quite explain it; it’s as if I’m constantly running with no end in sight. I’m moving, yet somehow lost in a dark wood. I cried, I prayed, I fasted, and I cried some more. The verse that came to mind straight away was Psalm 42:11:
Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
The whole of Psalm 42 is honestly so beautiful. David himself was in his feelings, yet even in that space, he grasped onto hope and he clung to the goodness of God.
I’ve been studying the book of 1 Samuel recently, and one thing that really stood out to me is how much it speaks about trust in God. The contrast between King Saul and David is wild. You can really see the difference in how they each related to God. Saul was very self-focused, and that self-focus ended up leading him to disobey God and face the consequences. Then there’s David. From the point we are introduced to him as just a young boy, you can see how he consistently put his faith in God.
One story that I absolutely loved when I read it is found in 1 Samuel 30. In the shortest way I can tell it …
David and his men came home to devastation. Their wives, children, and everything they owned had been taken by the Amalekites. The pain cut so deep that their grief turned to anger, and they blamed David, even planning to stone him.Then comes verse 6, and this line hit me right in the chest; “BUT (heavy on the but) David encouraged himself in the Lord.”
After that, David seeks guidance from God through the ephod. This was the High Priest’s garment that carried the breastplate, which included the Urim and Thummim. These were used to hear from God (Exodus 28:6–14). And right there, God gives him direction (verse 8): pursue the Amalekites, because you will overtake them and without fail recover all. When we skip ahead to verse 18, that’s exactly what happens. We see David recover all, and then some (verse 20). It instantly reminded me of Isaiah 55:10–11:
10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:
11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
God’s word never returns empty.
So, this takes me to my next question. What does it mean to encourage ourselves in God? What really hit me about that verse is the word “encouraged.” In Hebrew, the word used is chazaq (pronounced kaw-zak), which means to be strong, to strengthen, or to be courageous. So basically, when it says David “encouraged himself in the Lord,” it’s not like he just hyped himself up. David went deep. He found his strength in God. In the middle of heartbreak, when everyone had turned on him, he chose courage. But not false courage. He chose to be strong in God, not in himself. That kind of encouragement hits different when you think about the emotions that were probably swirling around his mind and body.
To encourage ourselves in God practically can look like:
· Singing songs of praise.
· Praying – either by yourself or with a friend.
· Reflect on His promises.
· Reflect on what He has already done.
· Reflect on what you’re grateful for.
· Listening to a sermon/podcast.
· Reading encouragement in the scripture.
· Prayer journal.
What do you currently do when life hits you with angst, loneliness, sadness, or hopelessness? How do you respond? Do you shut down? Bury your head in the sand? Look for someone else to blame for your pain? Misfire your anger at the wrong people? Give in to fleshly, selfish desires? Or maybe even find comfort in things God calls sin?
Now imagine if, instead of all that, we ran straight into God’s arms and buried our faces into His chest. If we remembered we’re His children and learned to trust Him. Maybe, actuallyyyyyy, MOST DEFINITELY, the situations we face are a chance to trust God. A chance to really experience that blessed hope. One of my favourite stories in 1 Samuel made this hit home for me: the Israelites had to go to their opps, the Philistines, to have their “weapons” made. And by weapons made, I mean they had their farming tools sharpened and repaired by the Philistines. Only King Saul and his son Jonathan actually had proper swords and spears (1 Samuel 13:19-23). Why? So, they’d see they weren’t winning battles on their own that it was God’s hand at work.
To experience victory over our emotions (and pretty much anything else life throws at us), we have to rely on God. And sometimes that means we’ve got to endure the battle before we taste the victory...
Stay tuned for the next post on endurance, and thanks for reading.