Gift Yourself Grace
I hear the word grace in church all the time. I learn about grace being a gift from God (Ephesians 2:8). Therefore it is something freely given, I do not need to work to 'earn it' or prove that I 'deserve it'. We are commanded to show others love just as Jesus shows it to us (John 13:34) and this love incorporates grace (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). However, how can we show others a love that we don't show to ourselves? (Matthew 22:39) How can we show grace to others if we can't accept the grace God gives us?
GRACE
UNCOUNTABLE NOUN In Christianity and some other religions, grace is the kindness that God shows to people because he loves them.
It was only by the grace of God that no one died. [+ of]
Synonyms: benevolence, favour, goodness, goodwill
Recently I've been struggling to accept God's grace, which has lead me to show myself absolutely no grace thus; causing a spillage of sour sewage into my relationships and interactions with others. Let me start with myself...
When I'm hurting it overflows into all areas of my life because I am such an emotional person. I've been dealing with hurt for a while now and the worst thing I do is internalise my pain, block everyone out and refuse to be kind and patient with myself. Unfortunately my emotion can cloud my judgement causing me to do things in a state of emotion. Then I reflect and instantly regret it. This is the cycle of torment I've been in. This low period has lead to weight gain which has caused me to hate myself even more. It's led to a lack of self worth and self knowledge. I'm just at a stand still and until today I didn't know how to come out of it
Well I did. I was just too stubborn to do so.
The result of all of this is projection. I'm hurting within myself so I unintentionally cause others to hurt. I struggle to forgive others because I can't forgive myself. I struggle to show others love and emotion and be vulnerable because I refuse to accept the need to be vulnerable with God and myself. However, recently I decided to just pick my bible up, start listening to sermons again and resume my favourite book. I needed to hear something, triggering or not it was necessary.
My favourite book is called 'Uninvited' by Lysa TerKeurst and it deals with handling and navigating rejection. It's really taken me almost a year to read and I still haven't even reached half way. Today though a quote stood out to me -
"The only thing I've seen work in my life to protect my heart from these deep wounds is the constant pursuit of the sweetest grace"
The questions now appears, how do I pursue grace?
To pursue grace, we must pursue the one who is the very embodiment of grace. That is God. In grace, He sent His only son to die for the sins of the world. By His grace, He heard the cries of the Israelites and brought them out of slavery. Through His grace, though Sarah and Abraham didn't believe they would get the promised son, God fulfilled His covenant. It is because of grace that we are able to see a new morning and I am able to write this post. We pursue God by pursuing a relationship.
- Prayer - I pray by writing in a prayer journal. My brain cannot stay on track if I do it in my head and I express myself best through writing. Find how you can best conversate with God.
- Study the word - whether it's a verse a day, a chapter a day. Whether by yourself or with someone else. Have verses ready in your mind for different seasons and periods and trials.
- Explore God's creation - Immerse yourself in nature, in the universe, with animals and also other humans building strong Christian connections.
The more we commune with God, the more we come to understand and appreciate His grace. The tricky bit is accepting and internalising that we already have this grace and we need to live in it and show it to ourselves. So the next question how do I show myself grace in order for my wounds to be healed?
Reshape our mistakes to view them as 'glorious mistakes'/ lessons.
Opportunities for growth and development to take place. Accepting what happened (so practicing acceptance) and moving forward
Being vulnerable with ourselves. Allow ourselves to process pain and emotions and allowing others to help us.
I saw a quote a while back that literally spoke to me and it said "softening yourself after having to be tough for so long is not easy". Many of us have been hurt so bad in the past and faced traumas that have caused us to build up walls and without even knowing we've built mental prisons for ourselves. We're so trapped, yet oxymoronically so comfortable. Showing yourself grace means releasing the shackles and freeing yourself from behind bars. Trusting yourself and trusting others. Becoming softer and gentler instead of constantly on guard and worrisome. Opening up about pain and actually acknowledging something hurts so that it can be dealt with
Being self-compassionate.
This is probably the hardest one because many of us are our biggest critic. The way we talk to ourselves, not setting boundaries, not working towards goals or recognising our worth. The trick somebody taught me is to be objective and speak to myself as I would a friend. It's a learning curve but it is worth it.
