Hollow Spaces With a Heavy Feeling

Christmas is around the corner everybodyyyyyyy! Personally, I believe we can start the countdown from now.

One of my absolute favourite films to watch around this Christmas time (if not the number one) is The Grinch. His story is actually proper character development. When we first see him, he just seems like this miserable creature who hates Christmas. But as the story unfolds, we realise Christmas isn’t the real issue, it’s the hurt, the bullying, the feeling of being abandoned and different. All of that hardened him into someone mean, rude, vindictive, and honestly just fed up with the who’s.

So, you’re probably thinking, “Alright Tanesha, what does the green man have to do with anything?” And in true Tanesha fashion, let’s take the long route to the point.

We’re told to confess our sins to one another so we can support and pray for each other (James 5:16). I’ve done this on the blog before; envy, lust, all sorts. And today, I want to talk about something I’ve been struggling with lately: pride, and maybe even covetousness.

I was watching a video the other day where a group of women openly discussed their struggles with covetousness, and it was honestly so pure and refreshing. One woman had even written a book on it. It made me realise some of the feelings I’ve been having lately. I have prayed intensely regarding these feelings and ultimately feel as though God is telling me I have pride in my heart.

According to Merriam-Webster, pride in this context is exaggerated self-esteem and covetousness is an inordinate desire for wealth or possessions, or for what someone else has.

At the root of both is discontentment. It’s focusing on what we lack instead of recognising what you actually have an abundance of. That’s something I’ve been trying to be more aware of. But the video went deeper and said something that hit me: what we lacked in childhood often reappears as desire in adulthood.

If we don’t deal with childhood wounds, they will hit us even harder in adulthood.

I almost cried on the bus from reflection and realisation. As a child I was made to feel “less than” in so many environments. My self-esteem was unbelievably low. I genuinely didn’t like myself. I thought I outgrew those feelings, but really, I just stuffed them away and covered them with things. Things like degrees, work, distractions, even attention from the wrong places. Then I even convinced myself that because I was praying more, reading my Bible more, and getting involved in church, everything was fine.

But when I really think about it, those same childhood feelings show up constantly in my daily life. The way I can’t take a compliment, the self-deprecating comments, the way I downplay myself; all of that shows I haven’t fully healed.

And now, when I get into my “focus on lack mode” my mind will switch to comparison and sometimes tells me things like:
“I deserve that position.”
“Why isn’t my blog growing like theirs?”
“Why don’t people notice my gifts the same way they notice others?”

That’s not the Holy Spirit, that’s my lack speaking. That’s pride whispering entitlement. That’s covetousness slipping in with its strong desires for things or positions others have. That’s my low self esteem in childhood, craving attention and being viewed as more than in adulthood.

For some of you reading this, it could be that you grew up with very little, so now you find yourself longing for what others have, the clothes, the house, the lifestyle. Although, covetousness does not stop at the physical. Possibly, you grew up without affirmation, so now you crave validation and envy people who are praised. Maybe in childhood you were teased about your looks, so now you covet other people’s beauty, confidence, or body type. Or growing up, you got used to being told you weren’t smart enough, so now you covet other people’s careers, promotions, or platforms.

Whatever the root, these desires usually trace back to old wounds we never learned to name.

Pride and covetousness have always been destructive. They’re literally why this world is how it is. Satan listened to his pride. He wanted to be on God’s level. He focused on what he thought he should be instead of honouring the position he already had. Pride comes before a fall, and in his case, he literally FELL from Heaven.

But the beautiful thing about God is that He offers us a way out before our emotions push us into foolishness. 1 Corinthians 10:13 reminds us:
“…and God is faithful. He will not let the temptation be more than you can bear. When you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

So in this instance, what is the way out?

James 4:1–10 gives us a clear answer. It starts by showing how far people will go to get the things they desire, but then it flips the perspective; we don’t receive because we don’t ask God. But does that mean God will give us anything we ask for? Absolutely not, especially when our desires are rooted in vanity or selfish motives (verse 3). Matthew 6:33 reminds us to seek the Kingdom first, and then everything else will fall into place.

Verse 10 of James 4 tells us to humble ourselves which is the complete opposite of pride. It’s a reminder that we are not entitled to anything, and that we need to strip away those selfish desires and acknowledge that God is the One who is truly sovereign.

Verses 7–8 tell us to submit ourselves to God so the enemy has no foothold. If we draw near to God, He will draw near to us.

Practically speaking, this all means:
1. Being honest with God about the desires that are coming from a place of lack.
Literally saying, “God, this is making my heart envy,” instead of pretending it’s not there.
2. Catching the thought before it spirals.
When pride or comparison creeps in, pause and ask: “Where is this coming from, and is it even true?”
3. Redirecting your focus to what God has already given you.
List the things you have in abundance and sit with those blessings.
4. Choosing humility in the moment.
Instead of saying “I deserve that,” shift it to “God, help me steward what You’ve already placed in my hands.”
5. Drawing near through small, consistent habits.
A short prayer when comparison hits.
Having a verse to recall when pride hits.
A moment of gratitude when covetousness rises.
Small steps, but they keep your heart aligned.
6. Celebrating others genuinely.
Pride shrinks when you choose to honour someone else’s blessing instead of competing with it.

Back to my fave, The Grinch… his whole turning point came when he stopped obsessing over what he didn’t have. His bitterness, his pride, even that “I don’t need anyone” attitude all came from a place of lack. But everything shifted the moment he realised where his abundance actually was. When the Whos , particularly Cindy Lou Who showed him love, he resisted at first because hurt will always try to protect itself. But as soon as he let himself focus on the love he was receiving, rather than the love he lacked growing up, he began to feel his heart beating. An iconic scene really. He allowed himself to be embraced and eventually became part of the community he once envied and pushed away.

The Grinch changed when he stopped guarding his hurt and let himself see the abundance he already had. That’s where pride and covetousness lose their power.