Impatience Turns You Sour!

"God is outside of time, but operates within time"

I've been reflecting on life for a while now. Reflecting on my thoughts my actions and my words. I can actually say I'm disgusted with myself.

All I have been doing lately is complaining and drowning in my misery. Letting sadness overcome me. However, the Holy Spirit is a joker because several verses actually rush into my mind after I've had one of my rants.  In this post I'm going to list them and break them down and tell you how they relate to the title and my thoughts that occur as a result.

• Acts 1:7 says " He said to them: 'It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by His own authority'"

The verse is essentially saying that not everything laid out by God is for us to know (you'll find out why in the next verse). Sometimes let us enjoy the mystery. The adventure. I personally think I question God way too much. As I've mentioned in my YouTube videos, I love to know 'how, when,where,who,what and why' or else my anxiety will be triggered. I've never been one to just 'go with the flow'. Lately though I've been in a position where I actually have to. Nothing seems to be falling into place at the times when I want it to and out of those 5 questions my biggest and most concern is WHEN? But as I said before in my still moments I'm prompted by the Holy Spirit to just wait, be patient and trust. My constant persistence of wanting to know when has turned me into a stubborn child. I refuse to do things and I give up easily when the future seems bleak. These my friends, are not attributes we should adhere to.

• Romans 8:24-25 says "...But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."

THIS VERSE HERE SPEAKS ON FAITH! WHEN I TELL YOU I HAVE BEEN LACKING IN THE FAITH DEPARTMENT! As I said before, there is currently so much uncertainty in my life. Uncertainty in regards to my health, my future: career wise, husband wise - everything!  But if God gave us everything we wanted instantly 99.99999999999999% of us would feel that there was no need for Him. We would just walk away believing we deserve those things or that we gained those things through our own doing and there is no longer a need for God. This is where faith kicks in. What is for us, will be for us. He who began a good work in us, will finish that. If we don't get what we want, there was most certainly a reason. I'm forever asking for signs for this, that and the other and when I don't see what I want I get frustrated with God and just think what is even the point of being alive? Again, such negative thinking. Patience is actually key in the process of faith.

• 2 Peter 3:8 says "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day"

I placed this bible verse here just to emphasise the difference between man and God. As the quote at the beginning of this post says, God does not operate within our timing. His timing is perfect. I won't lie and act like I don't doubt this at times and become weary. However, God knows the past, the present and the future. He knows what we need now,  He knows what we don't need tomorrow and He knows when to place those necessities in our lives.

• Ecclesiastes 3:1 says "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens"

To be honest this verse speaks for itself and reinforces the previous messages.

Once we come to understand that patience is a key attribute, (It's even listed as one of the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5)), we must now begin to apply it in our lives. From our thoughts to our speech to our actions...

• Ephesians 4:29 says "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers"

When one is miserable and impatient all they tend to do is complain. Lately all I've been doing is a lot of complaining. I haven't actually counted my blessings and showed gratitude for the things I do have. It's alright to be upset about things but it's how you approach the distasteful situations that arise. Do you let them dominate you so much that you fail to see the good? That you fail to be thankful and mindful? Does your mouth produce words of corruption? Does your tongue speak words of disgust? Well it is time that we all change that because the words you put into the atmosphere will determine the energy around you.

• (This one I actually researched I won't lie but it fits in) - Proverbs 11:17 "Your own soul is nourished when you are kind, but you destroy yourself when you are cruel."

As the title says 'impatience can turn you sour'. Lack of faith can dampen your soul. Once you take a negative approach to life's problems, without knowing it you develop a mean spirit. Things like jealousy and unkindness emerge from your soul. You find yourself comparing your situations to others. Discontentment kills. You become sour and hateful and inconsiderate. The only person you care about is you but without noticing you have even become cruel and hateful towards yourself.  When I say I have been reflecting this is what runs through my head when I see myself in the mirror. I speak hateful words to myself and on rare occasions relapse and hurt myself through self harm. I have suicidal thoughts and I'm always feeling bitter or hurt. This actually needs to change. I need to understand that I am not in control but God is. I must decrease so that He can increase. Whilst you guys may not go to some of the extents that I reach, please focus on the words you speak to yourself. If you would like me to do a list of daily affirmations for you I can. Also focus on being kind to those around you as well.

I hope you have found this helpful and can also draw your own lessons from these verses.

Ps. I am in no way disregarding emotions. I myself have been diagnosed with severe depression. Obviously depression and anxiety is not just something that can be shut off but with the right approach towards it, those feelings can decrease and you can find a sense of peace.

PPs.I am still learning these lessons for myself. In no way am I perfect.