Let's Talk About It #4 - A Real Sisterhood?
“We're connected, as women. It's like a spiderweb. If one part of that web vibrates, if there's trouble, we all know it, but most of the time we're just too scared, or selfish, or insecure to help. But if we don't help each other, who will?”
― Sarah Addison Allen, The Peach Keeper
The other day a male friend said to me
"Keep writing on your blog, you inspire many and many young females go through what you go through ....... you have created a platform and you have a following now, Lead your young females to be Queens, strong Queens that love themselves and don't allow a man to define who they are".
(That was only part of what he said). These words really stuck in my brain. I mean a lot of girls actually do come to me with their stories and dilemmas so I wanted to write something for all of us.
I remember my first year at uni. I was sitting down waiting for my seminar to start and there were these two girls and a guy. The guy was trash talking this other girl who was supposedly these two girls friend. They even chimed in and started spilling her business. I was thinking, you chatting about a next girl to a man isn't going to get you cuffed darling. Your own friend you know. Wowu...
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
said it best when she said:
"We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men"
As women we are already seen as inferior to men. This is shown in the gender pay gap. Silly misogynistic views. The treatment of women worldwide. The world already tries to put us down. Tries to demean us. Lessen our value as a person. Diminish our worth. But we are jewels. We are Queens. We are somebodies. We have strength. Determination and not to mention a high pain tolerance. So why when we possess such priceless attributes do we only put each other down even more? As individuals we are already strong, why not as a unit be even stronger? Why can't we even function as a unit?
I don't understand why as girls, women, Queens, we want to bring others down. As individuals we know what it's like. What situations we face. What insecurities we deal with but with knowing these things, these are what we use to bring each other down. I mean we all have our comments and what not. We all hold opinions but these opinions shouldn't mean we have to watch people hurt. I'm not even just talking about commenting on another women's appearance. Even though that is annoying. Even if you don't like a person's style no need to press them about it. Let people live their best life.
As I said though, it's not just appearance. There's slut shaming, back stabbing (boy does this one happen a lot. Probably more times than I inhale and exhale a day), petty arguments... the list goes on. I am guilty of a few comments here and there and being petty, I will put my hands up to that. I do regret it though. I've come to the point where if I see someone attempting to live their best life and it's going a bit left instead of going to a next person to chat said person's business, I will help them get back on their feet. Instead of lying to your girl and going behind her back why not just be real and honest? A few tears may shed, hearts may be broken but in the end it will be worth.
Even if a girl isn't your friend and you see her struggling and you know you can do something to help, why not help? Why not send a little compliment another women's way? A little smile. It really irritates when I smile at girls in the street and they really screw. I just have to pretend that they didn't see me and they were looking at the person behind me. This whole thinking you're better than the next women. No darling. Nobody is better than anyone. We are all equals with sparkling individual characteristics.
LET US BEGIN TO FORM A TRUE SISTERHOOD.