Let's Talk About It #5 - I'm An Individual 

If there's one thing I don't like it's being put in a bracket and people creating a certain perception of me based on a stereotypical judgement.

I'm talking in regards to my race and my sex.

Okay, I'm black. Now what?

I know a man that really just gets under my skin whenever he speaks about the black community. The generalisations he makes are just absurd. To him Black people are; indisciplined, loud, unable to control their emotions. Everyday constant comparison to the "white man". If you've ever watched boondocks you'll know what I mean when I say this man is a real life Uncle Ruckus (okay maybe not that extreme but you get the gist...)

Honestly though, I don't get why my actions are supposed to represent an entire race. I AM AN INDIVIDUAL. The colour of my skin does NOT define who I am. I may be loud but that's just because I am loud. Not because I'm black. I actually hate when people scream "I could never date a black girl because they're too loud" more time the person who is making such a statement their mother is really black too. Is your mum loud? Would you label your mum ratchet? Would you say your mum is unlovable?

I remember one time in year 12 me and my friends were walking back to sixth form after lunch and we were laughing, yes we were laughing out loud. This black boy, dark as midnight really says out loud to his friends "this is why I don't date black girls". Ever since,  I don't think I act the same around black boys. I know now not all of them think that way but I actually hate walking past black boys from a fear of criticism.

Apparently because I'm black I'm also supposed to be illiterate. Well I've got news for you! I am far from illiterate. Why is it that when a black person can speak good English they get called names such as 'oreo' or 'coconut' implying that whilst their skin may be black they are 'white' on the inside?

Now don't get me wrong I am very proud to be black. As a people, blacks have really progressed. Black people have gone through a lot and yet here we are still multiplying. With all the madness happening to us as blacks I will always be there to defend and stand up for black people's rights. But let me just tell you this, I cannot take responsibility for the actions of another. Whilst we may have similarities, my upbringing,  my culture as a black caribbean girl would still be different to my brother or my sister from one of those beautiful countries over in Africa or anywhere else.

What upsets me the most is that it is black people ourselves that create such generalisations and if they don't see people following what they think is the 'norm' as a black person then they are trying to be  "white". We will never all share the same views. Share the same characteristics. Share the same taste in music or clothes or even food. We weren't designed that way. We are all individuals. We all have different destinations and different paths. We were all given different brains to construe different ideas and come up with different things. Don't ever put me in a bracket and try and undermine me  because of my skin colour. It's disgusting.

Then when other races try to stereotype me and keep me down because of their views on who I am as a person. That's just racist and prejudiced and that really cannot be tolerated. One ignorant girl decided she wasn't going to pronounce my name the way it is supposed to be pronounced as she said it's an "African name" and therefore the way she was saying it was correct. It took all that was within me to not slap her, seriously!

I've had another white girl tell me I cream my face like a black person. LOL. I was really baffled. How does a black person cream their face exactly? Why does the way I cream my face even affect you? I've had people tell me my name is a typical ghetto black girl name. Why is the word ghetto even thought of when it comes to black people?

Do you know how many people tell me I'm a typical black south Londoner. It was funny at first but now I just roll my eyes. Even when I try to change my ways people always see me for what they want to see me as.

Then ontop of that as a woman I'm even more limited in life. I'm told that I can't do the same job a man can. I'm told I shouldn't be allowed to earn the same pay for doing the same job that a man does. I'm told I'm not allowed to be as free when it comes to expressing myself sexually but when a man does the same thing he is praised, when a woman does it she's labelled a hoe. I'm told I'm supposed to practically wait on a man for the rest of my life once I say "I do". Well my husband really has a suprise coming his way.  I know we've all heard this before but I just wanted to regurgitate it on this blog because I don't think it sinks into our minds enough.

Again, I am an individual just because I am a woman what does that really mean? Okay, cool. I can firm pain that a man can't whether that be pregnancy or my menstrual cycle. Is that it?

As a woman I can be an amazing CEO of a firm just as good as any man. As an individual I can do anything I put my mind to.  God gave me a brain to think. Eyes to see. Hands to use. A mouth to talk. Legs and feet to walk. I will put all these things to good use. When you see me don't assume that I'm weak or fragile simply because of my sex or the colour of my skin because you will really be playing yourself.

I AM AN INDIVIDUAL.

I AM TANESHA.

*These are topics I love discussing and debating so if you have any opinions of your own feel free to leave a comment or hit me up. I'm interested... Do my actions actually represent and define others or not? Even though I'm an individual, do I still have responsibility towards my fellow communities?*