Let's Talk About It #6 - "Boys Will Be Boys"

There I was lying down, tapping through snaps as I normally do then this one snap came up that triggered me. The question was along the lines of

'have you ever been told that if a boy teases you it means he likes you?'

The amount of times I was actually told that growing up. The "boys will be boys" mentality can actually be detrimental to the flourishing of our daughters, sisters, nieces, friends. It teaches young girls to accept that such behaviour is acceptable. Instead of teaching the boys that what they are saying or doing is insensitive and out of order we encourage it by letting it slide. Girls then grow up to think that this is normal. During their dating experience or even when they are married, if a guy portrays any toxic behaviour it is overlooked as to them it's 'normal' and that's 'just how boys are'. Women fall into relationships where they are treated as though they are worth nothing but they stay for the sake of what they believe to be love.

I've had girls communicate with me about the behaviours of males that they have encountered. Many have actually broken down into tears. The struggle is when you tell them that the way they are being treated is wrong they insist that it's 'fine' and they're in 'love'. This is where many end up finding themselves trapped in abusive relationships whether physical or emotional.

Boys will grow up feeling entitled to everything under the sun and if they don't get their way, the toxic behaviours shine through. A woman must cook, clean, do this, do that and if she refuses the abuse that is then hurled at her...

Why?

Alas! There are two sides to every coin. Along with this "boys will be boys" mentality comes the male dominance and masculinity. I actually feel sorry for them. Along with being a 'boy' or a 'man' a lot of pressure is actually placed upon their shoulders also. I feel as if that is why when boys are young they act up in order to gain acceptance and be seen as a 'top dog' amongst peers. However, as I said before instead of changing the standard so that everybody can live comfortably, such behaviour is normalised and as they grow it goes from "boys will be boys" to "it's a man thing."

I had an encounter with this guy the other day. He was asking for me to help him do something which he shouldn't in order to make money. I actually laughed. He told me that he was doing it so that he could provide for this girl. I told him first of all that he's young and shouldn't even be thinking of providing for a girl that's not his wife. His response - "it's a man thing". I understand men feel like they have to be the provider and the sustainer but at this young tender age you cannot let the want for money consume you. It's not everyday do stunt man sometimes humble yourself and accept what you have got. Success comes gradually. This pressure for a man to have it all together and maintain a certain image needs to be removed because it's actually very detrimental. In the UK the highest figures of suicide are actually men. There is also the danger of such pressures leading to criminal activity or as mentioned already abusive and entitled mindsets.

So how about we stop all this "boys will be boys" nonsense and quit putting people in a box and let people be?

I am very interested to hear people's opinions and experiences.

Thank you for reading x