Power of Forgiveness

Last week in church the pastor played a video. If I remember correctly it was a pastor and his wife who are very prominent in ministry. They let this guy from church into their family and they all became very close. Sooner or later, the pastor's wife and the new friend had a three week affair. The wife realised what she was doing was wrong and decided to end the affair and come clean with her husband. The husband was at first very angry (as anyone would be) but you know what he done? He forgave her. Their relationship got stronger. The story doesn't end there though. The pastor and his wife later found out that the wife was pregnant. It couldn't be the pastor's child because he had undergone a vasectomy. Therefore, it had to be the guy she had the affair with. The doctor asked if they were going to keep the baby and the pastor immediately said "YES". The baby was given the pastors name and welcomed into the family as though it was one of his own. Imagine, the parents are both white and the son (the baby) is even biracial. When the video ended I actually just sat in shock. My instant thoughts were "from time my partner cheats on me they're gone...why's he treating the baby like it's his? where's the real dad at?..." I was angry for the man. Then the pastor said something. He said whenever he does marriage counselling he shows them that video and tells them 'if you're not prepared to deal with a situation like that, then you are not ready for marriage' and my head was just spinning...

How would you react in such a situation?

One thing I've learnt when it comes to forgiveness is that it's not just for the person you're forgiving but for yourself. Whilst the anger and sadness is chewing on your brain, they're really sleeping peacefully. It's not healthy to hold on to things from the past because the only person you're hurting is yourself. In some cases though you could be hurting the other person. Here's some questions you need to ask yourself:

• If I do something to somebody else, should they forgive me if I'm not willing to forgive another who hurt me?
• What good is this anger that is manifesting in my soul? Is it really benefiting me?
• What do I gain by losing someone I care about over a situation that can really be resolved?

Furthermore, when I say forgive, I really mean forgive. It really irks my soul when people decide to forgive but bring up that same thing when something else goes wrong. Living in a Caribbean household, I remember when I was younger and when I done something wrong I wasn't just getting licks (beatings) for that one thing but everything my parents hadn't punished me for yet. If you know, you know. But seriously, forgive with your whole heart and put your mind to rest and the other person's mind to rest.

I actually hope I'm making sense.

It's one thing forgiving others, but forgiving ourselves?

Boyyyyyyyy.....

I believe forgiving ourselves is one of the hardest things we need to do. It comes under that bracket of self love and having peace of mind. We really need to stop beating ourselves up for things that happened in the past. We need to let go of things that are really out of our control. I know it's hard but it's really a must. I myself fall into the trap of getting angry at myself for things that other people probably don't even remember. When we don't forgive ourselves or another it can eventually lead to stress and stress is a major killer.

Here's a quote for you to think about :

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." - Katherine Ponder

May I just add that it makes my soul glad that my Lord sent His only son so that my evil doings can be washed away. When I serve a God who continues to love me no matter what I do, why should I not do the same with those around me?

As usual, thank you for reading x