The 'Inferiority Complex' — Tanesha's Chronicles

What is an inferiority complex?

It has been defined in one dictionary as "An unrealistic feeling of general inadequacy caused by actual or supposed inferiority in one sphere, sometimes marked by aggressive behaviour in compensation".

It flows deeper than low self esteem. You literally feel like "less than" persistently and try to compensate for this. Your life constantly flows around the negative. You lack the motivation to even go after your dreams or set goals because you may not believe them to be attainable or that you even deserve it. You self criticise. You demotivate yourself without even knowing what you're doing. Name calling. Spewing self hatred. You literally become of no use to yourself.

What are the signs of this?

You may feel depressed & display signs of depression
Display signs of anxiety
Sensitivity to both compliments and criticisms
Withdraw from people around you (friends, family, coworkers)
Project onto others by demeaning them
Constant attention seeking - (Depression Alliance, 2018)

Inferiority & Me

See, I wouldn't say I have an 'inferiority complex but I definitely exhibit signs. I definitely don't think I'm capable or worthy of many things. I don't know if it's being in lock down that's causing me to feel this way or if my thoughts are just constantly there usually, yet I'm just too busy to acknowledge them. All I know is - I hate it here. I haven't felt these intense feelings in such a long time and it's really starting to get the best of me. I've picked up on the way I talk to myself. The thoughts that swirl around my head. I constantly remind myself I'm not good enough and if I'm sad I just tell myself I'm too sensitive (primarily because it's what I've been told constantly) and bury the emotions somewhere. I call myself names all the time and fall into traps of comparison. I know recovery is a journey and there are definitely days you slip back but I still feel ashamed.

The maddest thing is I do find myself trying to compensate for this and it makes me sick.

These past couple days I've definitely withdrawn from people. I think it's fear that if I explain myself or my problems people will get sick of me. I hate losing people so I have to be 'fine' most of the time before I become a burden. I withdraw because if I show people broken me, they won't love me anymore (well that's what goes through my head). I don't want to be a mess but I know I'm not perfect either. At this point I'm just really scared. I can't even explain why I'm scared. It just gives me raging anxiety.

Good news - It's undo-able!

Whether you do suffer from an inferiority complex, low self esteem or just lack self love and self compassion, there are ways to recover and learn to be nicer to yourself.

Therapy! Having a professional help you work out the root of your problems and resolving them. There are different types of therapy so finding what works best
Drawing from the above, dealing with your past. Many of our behaviours stem from things we've experienced or been taught and many times we can't heal unless we unlearn what we've been taught or dealt with whatever underlying issues we have.
Learn self soothing methods for when the feelings are really intense. Here are a few with a deeper insight to self soothing: https://www.blessingmanifesting.com/2018/07/distress-tolerance-self-soothing.html/
Learn to challenge your thoughts and assess the reality!
Journalling! Sounds weird right? But writing out your thoughts really helps you to pinpoint and then attack them. This flowchart really explains the process of healing through writing: https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/839851030499268400/
Practice self compassion: This video really gave me an insight on the need for self compassion & how to achieve it : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnNvGcU7tv0
One of my biggest would be speaking to people (yeah very hypocritical from me) as usually they can help you see the reality and it takes a load off your back

Also cultivate a lifestyle of prayer. Communing with God and remembering the promises He made and the things He has said about you. Reminding yourself that you have been bought by the blood of the lamb so you are priceless. Your body is a temple and you have value in this world.

Thank you for reading x